The Coffee Guy's blog

Ideas, Ingenuity, and Inklings, ad Infinitum

Inhibited by irregular issues, I instantly imbued my inner self with an idiom.  Now not like it’s taught in books on modern usage mind you.  More akin to what one might do when.  Our common vernacular is slowly eroding to points past all known realms.

With the access to a qwerty, and the connection to the interweb thingy, the masses appropriate the language unknowingly.  Has anybody proof read anything they have espoused?   Tense can be tense to accurately employ.  Here I intentionally place prepositions in places never meant for them.  I use these ploys as part of my idiom in communication.  Intention, the excuse for error.

On the other platforms, I see error, not idiom.  Idiots and imprecision.  Oh, and yes, I have been noted as a GP.   Not Good Person, nor Grief Pole, not Gainfully Peered, nor Goofy Person.  But that Ad hominum, Grammar Police.

Whilst I am always attempting to maintain my composure and learning, some things get me irked.  My ire is raised when plural clashes with singular, as past becomes present to future, if letters mean nothing.  I actually pleasure at the sight of these faux pas.  They too bolster to theories of dumbing down of the vox populi.  Even Bob Segarini knew this some 50 or so years ago.   Even at the Mighty Q and CHUM they knew.

No history lesson here today, just a mild rant about read what you write.

Stir in some cream today Cleo.

Mark Hull Du Calumet, First of the coterie of York, Son of Don, Scion of Karl in the House of Pfunkstadt, Connubial of Suzanne, Yeoman to the Hun of Honda, Prevailing in the Seat of Hespeler, Having been again to Australia, and now Grandad's Land, and for some, from The Dark Side. Not am Main nor ab der Elba, but down the Donau, and with Turkish Chai. #garagelurker2019, also A.C.

Visits Vanquished Vacancies in Various Venues

You cannot visit veritably, or in virtuallity any way but virtually.  We cannot be two meters, and still be close, unless of course if you are in a black hole or two celestial bodies. 

Body me this, when we started on this virus venture, virtually all people stayed apart.  Now as I occasion the groceteria, people summarily come very close to me to my continued retort, “too close!”.  Do you not understand distance?  It is height, laterally.  If your height is more than your feet away from me, then get back. 

Do people really no know the difference between then and now?   Then, most knew.  Now, few understand.  There should be no browsing for blouses.  Get in, get out!   Don’t tell me you are just out and about for some casual experiences.

Compound this lack of understanding with the utter lack of concern for cleanliness, you have fewer ideas than an oak tree.   You walk in, sanitize your hands, wear no gloves, then half way through your browser episode, you answer the phone and check for messages on your various applets after opening doors, touching products, and gadding about.  Back to the cash and you use cash!

Out to the car you go, sanitizing on the way out again, touching the carts and bags again, only to check your filthy phone again before touching your keys and car parts.

Let me get you straight. Don’t touch anything with anything with which you will be touching things later.  This is called cross contamination!  You know who you are, think.  And as one of my faves once said, “People would sooner die than think, and most often do” Thank you Bertrand.

You cannot do one thing.  You must do all things.

Dip me a donut Delores, need some starch with my Java today.

Mark Hull Du Calumet, First of the coterie of York, Son of Don, Scion of Karl in the House of Pfunkstadt, Connubial of Suzanne, Yeoman to the Hun of Honda, Prevailing in the Seat of Hespeler, Having been again to Australia, and now Grandad's Land, and for some, from The Dark Side. Not am Main nor ab der Elba, but down the Donau, and with Turkish Chai. #garagelurker2019, also A.C.

Know Knowing Not When to Cut Fish

Know Knowing Not When to Cut Fish

I baited this idea for a while on the line with the trolls.  I have maintained the same Email for some time, perhaps too long, it’s hard to tell.  But alas I have broken the mould (intended spelling) on my long-standing bread line.  A new but similar addy is now in my possession.

Unlike when you change jobs, where everybody you know, knows.  When you just change, you must inform.  Its not like a glove.  There is no size or pliability.  And to those in the know, know I have too many gloves.  I need fewer but more multifarious than the last.  Something to which I need no subscription.

Fortunately, I have the time to invest in the growth of my address portfolio.  Each time I get a pushed point, I either un-sub’ that dicker, or I update my settings, options, preferences, contacts, information, or mail account.  Slowly plodding through the deluge and minutiae of two accounts.  A good practice in password preferences as well.

So-sa’ ‘yall don’t get offended, I will be updating personages with an addy that will get me hopefully to the next millennium, if not the next few decades.  Can you wait for what you want?  ‘Sup to youse guys.  Not a gonna go at it with the speed of lectricacy.

I did get edjumacated on the possibilities of the “cloud” as well.  Remember when your pappy said your head was in the clouds?  And that is where people store their stuff?  In a distasteful pile of fluff?  Nopers, me I am a terrestrial soul.  Other than that pilot stuff of course.

At the current rate, Ohms comes over Watts.

Slip in a little sugar today Sydney, French for me.

Mark Hull Du Calumet, First of the coterie of York, Son of Don, Scion of Karl in the House of Pfunkstadt, Connubial of Suzanne, Yeoman to the Hun of Honda, Prevailing in the Seat of Hespeler, Having been again to Australia, and now Grandad's Land, and for some, from The Dark Side. Not am Main nor ab der Elba, but down the Donau, and with Turkish Chai. #garagelurker2019, also A.C.

Trending Technology Tempts Trial Teachings

We try to keep apace with Tech in our lives at what expense?  I posit that and arithmetic increase in productivity with said device comes at a geometric time investment in learning the unit.

I am aware of bodies that MUST have the must haves in the tech world.  Phones, Tabs, GPS, Com units, TV’s, Computers and programs and the like.  Now me I want to max out the life and usefulness of any item.  At the same time minimize my down time used on upgrading my cognitive balance and understanding and knowledge of anything.  

The brain and storage therein are like a pipe: once full, if you continue to put stuff in one end, something has to come out the other.   I like to fully mature and milk every last iota outta whatever is in mine before I do a data dump.

Sossa you take the next Gen Phone thingy whatever out of the box.  You drag it out after passing all the security questions and devices to hinder pilferage at the retailer’s slack space that have been imbedded in the package.  The ON switch is now different, moved, hidden, or better yet, only a virtual switch.

Now ON, you have seventeen security questions, zero of which you have written down the answers to.  These are now used for a reboot or battery replacement, or theft recovery situation.  Moving on, it asks to transfer any and all information via some virtual magic from any random number of old devices, into this new device.  Sillyly you agree and the screen changes and goes into some unstoppable process mystically selecting what and where, which and what, is interred, imbedded, updated, translated, reformatted, or worst, deleted in transfer, from somewhere to someplace.

After the cold sweats stop, and you have attempted through other devices and people and programs to find out what is happening, the process stops and some new foreign screen appears.  Ah Ha Moment!  Great I have a new thingy!  As you stare at the new Home Screen in awe.

Seventeen starving hours later you open your first App.  The friendly touchy feely, beautiful shiny new device goes Black Screen.  It asks for a password which was one of the security questions when you initially turn the device on.  It needs this to update the App!  Having not written these down, you try a couple.  ZZZZAAAAPPPPP!  The screen reduces to an ever-reducing screen shot getting smaller and smaller……fade to black.

On-line on another thingy, the Googler says you need to call tech to get a restart.  In the back of you mind you KNOW they are going to ask you those seventeen security questions.

Now once the lovely new device is up and running 3 days later. Each time you open an App it asks to update and you finally realize even the time cost in updating, is not worth the time to invest in that.

Milk it till it pooches puppies.  There is no getting the unproductive time of the learning curve back.  It’s called a curve because its geometric in the time it takes to execute.  Your usage is measured in straight time, hence arithmetic.

Make it with some milk Martha, foam it a bit too.

Mark Hull Du Calumet, First of the coterie of York, Son of Don, Scion of Karl in the House of Pfunkstadt, Connubial of Suzanne, Yeoman to the Hun of Honda, Prevailing in the Seat of Hespeler, Having been again to Australia, and now Grandad's Land, and for some, from The Dark Side. Not am Main nor ab der Elba, but down the Donau, and with Turkish Chai. #garagelurker2019, also A.C