Sosa’ we all travel, or at least I hope you do. We do. The old Novem double hockey sticks apparently changed everything. If it wasn’t secure, we bolted it down to the extreme. Well at least for a week or so. Then the standards came out and every two-bit aviation authority took to the business of interpretation.
Nobody stepped in. We all stepped out.
Now these places have some stepping sideways, into scanners, up to wands, over to the side please, turning around? and sundry other contortions concocted at the willy nilly of these acrobatic security passels.
My fave of late is the four S. Basically, means you don’t have to disrobe and they scootch you past all the other security measures and they swab you almost everywhere to the extent that you had of wish you just passed a load. Then the authoritarians lay gobs of red ink on your boarding pass which only means you are untouchable from here on in.
Been four S’ed twice. Look for it at your local security stop next time.
As I said, we travel a lot.
The procedure almost coterminous to the four S is the shoe and belt routine. Now as you know, I am a bit of a stickler for the Sketchlers. Why? A cuzzin’ they pass the metal detectors like a good swoosh. Yup, in all of the techy detechers, I have never been beeped with a Sketcher.
And the belt? Well I know that my Brass buckle up will not spool off the wizards in their alchemy. Well some want it on, some ant it off, some want it in a separate bin, some want it with the coat and shoe or shoes, some want it with the devices, some not. GET IT STRAIGHT!
One good purveyor of procedure told my darling that it was us the Canadian who are the cause of all this fracas. Whhaaat? I don’t recall. Memory is a funny thing like some bones. So now we are trained to not know what to do at any one or another security interruption.
Sosa’ the slow down begins. First what to don or un-don, then we have un-donned too much and have to don agin. My devices need to be flat and separate, no you can leave them in your bag, go from two bins to one, where do I put the empty one, Stand how? Can I walk now? Oops go back. Never walk back. Lift your arms, not that high. Turn around all the way, lift your shirt, can you feel this? Do you have any metal? Really? Inside or out? Why doesn’t stainless-steel set these things off? Nobody ever thought of making a stainless-steel shooter?
Whhaaat?
So here we are in a state of comprehensive security standardized across the orb.
Not.
One.
The same.
Get it straight folks, either the baddies know what you are doing, or you are not secure. Why is it that some places are worried about shoe bombers, and others are not? Why are some metals tested for and others not? Why don’t we all go through that body scanner, change, keys, phones in our pockets, belts on, the whole kit and caboodle? Give it up.
Scan this Shirley, in need a smooth Sumatran this morning.
Mark Hull Du Calumet, First of the coterie of York, Son of Don, Scion of Karl in the House of Pfunkstadt, Connubial of Suzanne, Yeoman to the Hun of Honda, Prevailing in the Seat of Hespeler, Having been again to Australia, and now Grandad's Land, and for some, from The Dark Side. Not am Main nor ab der Elba, but down the Donau, and with Turkish Chai. #garagelurker2019
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