So for those that are in the habit of black and white, driving is not a right, and it is not a race. Mania on the bitumen bites. If you can F1 yourself, its time you NastyCar’ed your way to the Indy’pendant tarmacs. Go find a private place to sniff my exhaust. I couldn’t care an iota less that you can recite the serial number on my tailpipe.
The heterogeneity between you and the closed circuit guys and gals is the single focus of’a dem. One goal, one direction, one desire, one training level, one professional race car drivers license, one performance level, one set of rules, one compilation of safety devices, one type of road surface, one kind of tyres, one overseer, one set of penalties, one knowledge base, they are in it together.
The ones and twos of you who “might” have had any race or even skid skool training are generally the ones not doing the jocose maneuvers on the ole Four Oh One. It’s the Wannabe Wallaby brained bozos Dodging and weaving between the crying Chryslers and aching Acuras.
Let’s get to the basics.
Pass on the left.
Slower traffic keep to the right.
Leave one car length for every 15 KMPH, between you and the guy in front of you. (For those wholly awake and alert, this is “just” enough time to apply the brakes and stop when the guy in front of you stops.)
Drive as far ahead as you can see.
Use one foot in an automatic vehicle.
Heavier larger vehicles (read SUV) take longer to stop. (It’s just Physics)
If I have a line of traffic ahead of me, I am moving at their speed, I will not move over for you, so stop flashing your lights and riding my ass.
And finally, if you think you are smarter than me, don’t ride my ass. You will become rudely awakened about all the other rules.
I toyed with a trinket brained hack automobilist the other day from mile marker 286 to mile marker 336. In one morning he probably peeled off a good 20 thou on his brake pads alone. He was ever so surprised to see how bright my brake lights were each time. (you think he woulda’ learned) he dodged and changed lanes 5 score times at least. Sped up slowed down this lane that lane, this lane, another lane, I stuck to following the car in front between a buck 20 and a buck 25 the whole time, on cruise control at that!
In the end, I exited ahead of him.
If we could have culled the heard of these Neanderthals before, we would all be able to drive while texting, phoning, probably playing Xbox too!
But no, this scourge on our roads has debilitated the able to no longer be able to do simple activities. Its’a cuzza’ those are da ones who woulda’ got caught doing da dirty. First off they can’t drive let alone do something else at the same time.
If your foot is made of plummet material, find and oval outside of my area.
Pour it hot Mabel, I need the Iron on the road soon.
Mark Hull Du Calumet, First of the coterie of York, Son of Don, Scion of Karl in the House of Pfunkstadt, Connubial of Suzanne, Yeoman to the Hun of Honda, Prevailing in the Seat of Hespeler, Having been again to Australia, and now Grandad's Land, and for some, from The Dark Side. Not am Main nor ab der Elba, but down the Donau.
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