Who’d a thunk? Well the Jo and Java crankers, Espresso and Cappa crowd, Turkish or Americano Europeaneates, or one of the five types of bean lovers never suspected a cold version.
First let’s take the aroma and image of coffee. Without cup in hand, think it over. First the swirling steam rising and the warmth of the waft as it caresses your septum entering your proboscis. Is any of this possible if the water were cold?
Secondly let’s explore the possibility of getting the bean to release the tawny nectar using frigid water. Well after a millisecond’s though let’s not wait that long. It will not happen.
So one fine concessioner forgets to turn the heating element on, and serves a cold coffee through the thoughtless fingers of some adolescent “Barista”. The laggard at hand actually likes it and comes back to mention this banality. Next day, menu has a new item. “Forgetful Coffee”.
Not a big seller and shoulda’ stayed that way. Remarketed by some west-ender or east-ender if that is where the La La landers in your city reside. Now not only is it made, it’s still claimed to be a Cuppa.
This trifle should be banned by national edict. In fact, seeing as how I have the good Stephen’s ear, I think this may become high on the docket as we forge ahead in our sloth-like progress through the next session in sitting.
Twenty cents of every dollar sold from this frigid formula will be remitted as a tithe of repentance to The Coffee Guy. Oh did I say that? Sounds like a reason to push the sloth a little further down the branch. And to any and all who foist this feather to their MP, they will receive meagre considerations after my trough diving is complete.
For those of the StarSchmuck’s bent, get over it. Anything small and tall at the same time not being the CN Tower should definitely not be marketed as cold as well. Injury added to the insult already might or might not henceforth or pre-posed to be deleterious to the brand being sustained. Let’s get is straight even for those who litigate over the fact that coffee is a hot beverage. It is not to be confused with colas or teas. Ugghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I just expectorated. Perhaps more facts than are warranted at this time of the day.
Mark Hull Du Calumet, First of the coterie of York, Son of Don, Scion of Karl in the House of Pfunkstadt, Connubial of Suzanne, Yeoman to the Hun of Honda, Prevailing in the Seat of Hespeler, Having been again to Australia, and now Grandad's Land.
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