The Coffee Guy's blog

Trash is Another Man’s Business.

Not trash talkin’ either.  When you miss Garbage day and you stroll your sac across the road to the un-picked-up side of the road you are littering.  If you deposit any garbage anywhere but on your curb side, it is considered littering.

They encourage us to double up our trash so’s as to put ours beside our neighbour’s on the curb.  Who will they count bags?  They claim this will reduce stops by two.  Well as always the governments are only wishing to be perceived as green.  Why don't they encourage us to walk 15 more feet and for every four houses just deposit our trash in a pile in the middle of the road.  Now we would reduce our stops by 4!  Now that’s what I call reduction.

Again we fail to gather the real import of reduction.  Faceous lookeous.  Just white washing.  No real meat on the bone of reducing, recycling or re-using.  We haul more weight in truck than we haul in trash.  Where is Aluminum?  Seriously, if we just had large low alloy dump trucks without all the squishing and mashing stuff, we could go to the big pile the same number of times and hot have to haul all the machinery and mayhem for the squishing and squeezing parts.

After all, Fuel is probably one of the largest factors in Operations for the Trash heap after wages and capital expenditures.  So as we can load and stuff our light alloy truck faster, then our wages will be less.  Because we are hauling less weight, our fuel costs will be lower.  With a much simpler lighter truck, our capital expenditures will be lower.

Which part of this equation passes by our Municipal, Regional, Provincial, and Federal Representatives?  We are not stupid.  Red tape and paper pushing is.

Lets all pack it in. Or across the road.

Mark Hull Du Calumet, first of the coterie of York, Son of Don, Scion of Karl in the House of Pfunkstadt, Connubial of Suzanne, Yeoman to the Hun of Honda, Prevailing in the Seat of Hespeler

 

 

 

Trash is Another Man’s Business.

Not trash talkin’ either.  When you miss Garbage day and you stroll your sac across the road to the un-picked-up side of the road you are littering.  If you deposit any garbage anywhere but on your curb side, it is considered littering.

They encourage us to double up our trash so’s as to put ours beside our neighbour’s on the curb.  Who will they count bags?  They claim this will reduce stops by two.  Well as always the governments are only wishing to be perceived as green.  Why don't they encourage us to walk 15 more feet and for every four houses just deposit our trash in a pile in the middle of the road.  Now we would reduce our stops by 4!  Now that’s what I call reduction.

Again we fail to gather the real import of reduction.  Faceous lookeous.  Just white washing.  No real meat on the bone of reducing, recycling or re-using.  We haul more weight in truck than we haul in trash.  Where is Aluminum?  Seriously, if we just had large low alloy dump trucks without all the squishing and mashing stuff, we could go to the big pile the same number of times and hot have to haul all the machinery and mayhem for the squishing and squeezing parts.

After all Fuel is probably one of the largest factors in Operations for the Trash heap after wages and capital expenditures.  So as we can load and stuff our light alloy truck faster, then our wages will be less.  Because we are hauling less weight, our fuel costs will be lower.  With a much simpler lighter truck, our capital expenditures will be lower.

Which part of this equation passes by our Municipal, Regional, Provincial, and Federal Representatives?  We are not stupid.  Red tape and paper pushing is.

Lets all pack it in. Or across the road.

 

 

 

Ho Ho Ho

And a very Merry Christmas to you and all of your families.  Now for the Nitty Gritty.  Turkey stuffing, mashed and gravy.  The basics. Rutabaga?  If you add enough butter and brown sugar it makes the medicine go down.  Crackers available from www.bananamoon.ca for the table.

The tree decked and lit. Watered too. The aroma of evergreen wafting in the air.  The roasting bird making hungry all those who venture inside.  Children outside roasting mallows on the fire.  No phthisis maladies on the verge.  Good King Wenceslas looking out.  No rooftop vermin yet.

All the gift gratefully received.  All the cleaning done and achieved.  All the shovelling done and away.  All the carolling versed in a manger.  All the little ones snug in a rug.  Sugar plums falling and dancing about.  More than enough sweets for our dentistry plan.  All the nuts being hoarded by squirrels.  Is there actually more?

From those who have given we thank-you.  For those who have received, we hope you are pleased.  Time to relax and smell the snowfall.  Snowfall?  Not here.  Not where?  Others in the environs have more, down the road to the big smoke not so much. 

Recently reading about the Goole bug.  Poe knew of it well enough to scavenge enough details into the story about his good friend Legrand.  Cobble that onto the soles of a tale of Captain Kidd himself.  Legend, not Legrand has it.  Well in the end the latter had it as the former had already had his.

Merry Christmas.

Mark Hull Du Calumet, first of the coterie of York, Son of Don, Scion of Karl in the House of Pfunkstadt, Connubial of Suzanne, Yeoman to the Hun of Honda, Prevailing in the Seat of Hespeler

 

Duelling Dunkers, Dated by Detritus

While some feastering (and no I did not mean festering), communities are stuck on the old world 12 days of Christmas, the new wave is bent on the 12 days of Cookies.  What better way to crank up the ole sucrose level in your pre-insulinic days than to be chowing down on a veritable plethora of baked goods.

Of course in conjunction, the “must have”, and obligatory coffee to slosh it all down your gullet with.  Parenthetically, never end a sentence in a preposition.  Typically the “with” would fall after “conjunction” and prior to “the” in the first phrase of that sentence.  With knowledge comes power, the power to sidestep when the person on your dance card says kick-ball-change.

Cookies, soft, gooey, chewy, light, crisp, thick, thin, filled, topped, nutty, jammy, sprinkled, plain, freezer, drop, or what flirts with your fancy.  So, before adding ingredients, we have the possibility of 1,307,674,368,000 kinds of cookies.  And I have been asked to list a few faves?  What portion of the trillions upon trillion of Cookie types should I choose?  I can understand a favourite if there are four or five to choose from, not a favourite amongst trillions?

There have been monsters promoting the small nibblet cakes.  One living in a trash can comes to mind.  What earthly living thing could crave those lil’ morsels so much as to be named after them?  Then on the other hand, what deftly thinking mental gymnast would take the word of a trash junkie?  Funny how the world turns, yet we salute the thought of a Cookie Monster.  With new age royalty wearing the names like Obama, Woods or Palin, why is it so strange that the masses have not chosen them as wondrous?  What we need are sweet, small puppets with less than stellar living arrangements as our role models.

That’s what I say, aim low.  Easier to catch the Sloth than the Leopard.  So go after your Peanut Butter Cookie, select your Raisin Oatmeal Drop Cookie, and just leave me out of it. 

After all, all I want are my two front teeth.

Mark Hull Du Calumet, first of the coterie of York, Son of Don, Scion of Karl in the House of Pfunkstadt, Connubial of Suzanne, Yeoman to the Hun of Honda, Prevailing in the Seat of Hespeler

 

 

 

By Popular Demand

As the well versed and educated Tim of the north, as we also have a Tim of the south, has found and posted on his FacePlant page, seconded by many, and enthralling most, I could not pass up the suggestion that this be added to the ever popular www.thecoffeeguy.ca .

While you see it on the news, you never get to put the dirty questions to these people.  Basic reporting, who, where, what, why, when.  Spouting off from the top of their head, facts and beliefs instilled by cultish like leaders who possess verve and élan second only to Nero himself.

Man’s microscopic life on this orb, and his ability to evaluate the past and present in galactic parameters does not exist.  Predicting, claiming trends, prognosticating based on insufficient data, expounding beliefs as truths, pressing their own vanity to higher limits as the scientific community has never known publicity like this in the past.  Like anything, if you give it enough press, people will stick their heads out just long enough to let it get lopped off by the masses.

Watch the latest video I posted.

Apps and Entrees, Useless While Entering

So now the App industry is in full swing, with authors of these generally useless programmatic detritus pumping and pushing them to the next riser in the case to the second story.  Who needs to have cats in every picture?  A Pee Money, or the (one of us loves this), Fart for Free.  We have exceeded the commercial race to the bottoms of the lowest common denominator and dove to the abyss of the computer revolution with these ditties.

App 99,900.

The Tipulator.  As if your phone will know what kind of service you received.  And if you cannot do basic math to figure out %10, then perhaps you should not be using this computer.  In fact, this is the exact reason countries and areas are banning the use of these items while driving.  The powers that be know that if for #$%^ sake you can’t figure out how to float a decimal, then the whole of mankind is pretty sure you can’t drive and do it on a gadget!

App 99,899.

Oh the Altitude App.  Hmmm well if White Men Can’t Jump, then what is the use of this?  It’s like there might be something I can do about my altitude?  You are on a highway, you all of a sudden don't like your altitude,  you back up, drive off into the canyon?  Useful I bet.  In fact the purchase summary states that this App is unreliable if used in conjunction with a GPS.  Even more useful.

App 99,898.

Cars to Buy App.  hmm the second single largest purchase you will make on average and you are going to take the word of doodad?  Oh yeah let me drop twenty grand on the say so of this pocket calculator.  See if it will justify it's decision to you when you buy a lemon.   I can see going off to good ole Ralph Nader and saying, hey look I bought a junker on the say so of this thingy.  First thing the former Presidential Candidate will say is will be, “That was a smart move Einstein, and I bought my first Corvair that way.”

App 99,897.

Garage Sale Mobile App.  Well I know the shallow enders stalking the late opening garage sales will be burning the silicone wick of this App at both ends.  What slightly more advanced than the Neanderthal personage would be using the 3G phone to begin with?  As if his fat encumbered fingers could use a light enough touch to hold his App phone while following the street directions to Split-lip Saskatchewan for a hot item in a Yard Sale.  Anyhow, if you have one of these gizmos, what could you possibly find that you want at a Garage Sale.

Whew!  as you can see I have my work cut out for me.  A plethora of Apps to go.  Counting down.

Mark Hull Du Calumet, first of the coterie of York, Son of Don, Scion of Karl in the House of Pfunkstadt, Connubial of Suzanne, Yeoman to the Hun of Honda, Prevailing in the Seat of Hespeler

 

 

 

 

United Nations Climate Change Conference

United Nations Climate Change Conference

http://en.cop15.dk/

According to The Guardian, developing countries “react furiously” after a draft text allegedly written by the UN conference’s host country was leaked Tuesday. (Photo of G-77 chair Lumumba Stanislaus Di-Aping: Scanpix/AFP) Read more

Copenhagen and Cluster Cluck

“His statement (Obama’s) was followed by pledges from China and India to reduce their energy intensity by 40-45 percent and 20-25 percent, respectively, by 2020. South Africa then announced it would reduce its emissions below projections by 2020 by 34 percent, and pledged to ensure its absolute emissions peak and plateau would occur between 2020 and 2025 – the first such commitment by a major developing nation.”

Lets dissect the non-statements made by the leading pouters in the world.  China and India would reduce their “energy intensity”.  Energy intensity?  As in energy intense industry?  So they will.....have more slave labour intensive industry and less mechanized and fuel using industry?  Or will they just have the same industry just not be as intense and intent on putting the rest of the world out of a job.  So they will only supply Sam W. With a half billion poorly made widgets instead of a billion?  So the price will go up on all poorly made products?

A very cagey response to our Lord and Saviour Barak’s enlisting.  Perhaps next time he can put some preasure on these corrupt institutions and say,  "If you don’t put in equal consumer rights and protections, equal employees rights and protections,  equal intellectual rights and protections, equal health care rights and protections, and an equal standard of living, then we are going to ban your widgets."  Ohhh no... that would be cruel ...... to the people. 

I’ve had it.  These people now are the largest privately owned industrialists in the world.  It’s no longer just the governments who are skating on the backs of the poor over there.  The people are now the government.  There are just as many corrupt government and private institutions producing and proffering poorly made, race to the bottom of the lowest common denominator items.  I don't care who makes it.

Then they come up with a strategically meaningless statement like that.  Only would the Enviro-Weenies accept that as a truism.  They lie. Period.

Energy intensity?  Pleeeaase!

 

Next statement.  South Africa is lowering their expectations below projections for 2020!  What?  So all they likely have been doing is saying its a bad state of affairs here in South Africa.  We need free outside money to make the place better.  Here is a number, see how bad it is?  They have no clue what their output or usage will be in 2020.  No clue probably what it has been.  So they now say they will reduce below projections?   They don't have a clue what their projected emissions will be!  Another watermelon seed spit into the wind and accepted as a truism by the weenies!

The goals of the conference from their web site.

“1. How much are the industrialized countries willing to reduce their emissions of greenhouse gases?
 
2. How much are major developing countries such as China and India willing to do to limit the growth of their emissions?
 
3. How is the help needed by developing countries to engage in reducing their emissions and adapting to the impacts of climate change going to be financed?
 
4. How is that money going to be managed?”

Why is it that we who are already struggling, have capped usage, traded volumes, twisty bulbed our houses, tuned our cars, downsized everything, LED’d our Christmas, had Staycations, and we still have to reduce our emissioins. 

But those who use dirty coal, slave labour, bad environmental practices, no controls, only have to reduce how much their emissions will grow?

Only in a conference like this could one talk about money and it not be inherently stated that the management of that money is implicit with the money giving of it.

Weasely words from a conference which should have been net based and not based on thousands of people flying all over hells half acre along with their trail of reporters, protestors, and hangers on, wives and concubines.   The energy wasted and emissions created from this one conference will be equal to that of one of these developing countries for a year.

Again.  Give every household 20 grand to put in solar panels to generate electricity and you will grow a huge enviro-industry, save the emissions, and go green all in one act.

No three act play here.

Mark Hull Du Calumet, first of the coterie of York, Son of Don, Scion of Karl in the House of Pfunkstadt, Connubial of Suzanne, Yeoman to the Hun of Honda, Prevailing in the Seat of Hespeler

http://en.cop15.dk/

 

Fortitude before Festivities

We all bulk up.  With bucks, or beef, or banners, or banter, or flapdoodle.  From this meagre effort to amass more than we had yesterday, we drive and goad ourselves into a state of nirvana comfortably cushioned into our nests.  We festoon our sanctuary with glitter not always gold.  We challenge and chase our neighbours to the lowest common denominator.

Bigger screen, fatter car, my mower is lower than yours, my greener grassier then thou, my fence leaner than my geographically contiguous brother, my steak thicker than his cow.  When will it end?  I pass the homes of monsters in the borealis town of its skyward name and fenestrate at the size of bricked encampments and the memento size lots so small a barrow in the hands of a technician wouldn’t pass ‘tween them.

I arrive at my castle and think of how semis could pass double at the side of my mere house.  Why in this world of fat and festering teens do we cobble them into our houses?   It’s a cuz’in they can’t fit outside!  No room!  Can't catch a ball let alone toss one.  If’ in you did your neighbour seven houses down would be the short receiver.  Most, one or two car families indicative of empty nesters or young couples.

So I wonder.  When do they ever get outside?  Or are they so deathly afraid of the Hini flu, (the threat of which, as I have postulated, has passed) that they daren’t venture forth into the fresh air and greenery?  Or is the grey and guts of the clay based ground too acidic or their tender tootsies?  No, I think not.  I know too well that these inside dwellers are those not venturing outside without clothing and footwear resembling a HazMat suit.

Boots of steel and rubber large enough to sell to Cubans as small fishing craft.  No neumatico is going to trade in his 200 by 185 16 inner tube for your boots!  He keeps fishing as long as the old man is around.  No tubing behind recreational boats for him: just a lifestyle.   And there we are with crap and crapola filling our Garaga Door covered Garages with so much stuff, other people in the world wonder what we will ever do with it all.

Wanna know?  We will have a financial implosion which sets back economic growth five years and decreases employment levels to the early nineties in the past century. 

Don't cry for me Argentina cuz’in I have lots of stuff already without Evita shilling out stuff to me.

Egg Nog anybody?

Mark Hull Du Calumet, first of the coterie of York, Son of Don, Scion of Karl in the House of Pfunkstadt, Connubial of Suzanne, Yeoman to the Hun of Honda, Prevailing in the Seat of Hespeler.