So now the App industry is in full swing, with authors of these generally useless programmatic detritus pumping and pushing them to the next riser in the case to the second story. Who needs to have cats in every picture? A Pee Money, or the (one of us loves this), Fart for Free. We have exceeded the commercial race to the bottoms of the lowest common denominator and dove to the abyss of the computer revolution with these ditties.
App 99,900.
The Tipulator. As if your phone will know what kind of service you received. And if you cannot do basic math to figure out %10, then perhaps you should not be using this computer. In fact, this is the exact reason countries and areas are banning the use of these items while driving. The powers that be know that if for #$%^ sake you can’t figure out how to float a decimal, then the whole of mankind is pretty sure you can’t drive and do it on a gadget!
App 99,899.
Oh the Altitude App. Hmmm well if White Men Can’t Jump, then what is the use of this? It’s like there might be something I can do about my altitude? You are on a highway, you all of a sudden don't like your altitude, you back up, drive off into the canyon? Useful I bet. In fact the purchase summary states that this App is unreliable if used in conjunction with a GPS. Even more useful.
App 99,898.
Cars to Buy App. hmm the second single largest purchase you will make on average and you are going to take the word of doodad? Oh yeah let me drop twenty grand on the say so of this pocket calculator. See if it will justify it's decision to you when you buy a lemon. I can see going off to good ole Ralph Nader and saying, hey look I bought a junker on the say so of this thingy. First thing the former Presidential Candidate will say is will be, “That was a smart move Einstein, and I bought my first Corvair that way.”
App 99,897.
Garage Sale Mobile App. Well I know the shallow enders stalking the late opening garage sales will be burning the silicone wick of this App at both ends. What slightly more advanced than the Neanderthal personage would be using the 3G phone to begin with? As if his fat encumbered fingers could use a light enough touch to hold his App phone while following the street directions to Split-lip Saskatchewan for a hot item in a Yard Sale. Anyhow, if you have one of these gizmos, what could you possibly find that you want at a Garage Sale.
Whew! as you can
see I have my work cut out for me. A plethora
of Apps to go. Counting down.
Mark Hull Du Calumet, first of the coterie of York, Son of Don, Scion of Karl in the House of Pfunkstadt, Connubial of Suzanne, Yeoman to the Hun of Honda, Prevailing in the Seat of Hespeler
Comments