The Coffee Guy's blog

Fortitude before reflexation.

Once as a younger incarnation of myself I wondered at the strength of the Sun and how it is vilified in modern times.  Now I just discard the naysayers as neer-do-wells.  After all, it is the source of all life and time.

Oops! What’s that you say? The source of time?  Well of course.  Ever heard of a sundial?  From whence do you think the concept of day originates.  You can’t have the little bits (minutes, seconds hours) unless you have a whole bit to bite up.

So yes, as is the norm, the sun is the wreckage of us all.  Never enough time in the day. Running short of time.  Time is running out.  If I have a minute.  Do you have a minute?  In a minute.  We waited hour by hour.  The best of time(s).  Work by the hour.  Bill by the hour.  Bill by the minute.

When the esteemed physicist came up with the general theory of relativity, it would have been impossible to formulate without the sun as the measuring device.  Energy is equal to the mass multiplied by a constant squared.  That constant is the speed of light.  FROM THE SUN.  No sun, then no energy.  No sun, then no light, then no speed, then no time.

At no time would I like to mention that I like the sun.  It’s more than that.  I owe my existence to the sun.  We all do.

Well I skipped over that one pretty quick.  “No sun, then no energy.”  No energy, no global warming.  No global warming then all is well.  Uhhhh drat. Nopers.  No sun, then no energy, then no life, then global freezing.  Basically we would turn into a directionless frozen rock destined to collide with other space detritus.  

No pun intended, but the sun seems like a pretty bright idea so far.  Well so what if I did intend that pun?

Yeah give me my chair in the sun with my glass of wine and my Bad.  All will be well in the world.

Mark Hull

Interesting Words of Wise-cracks

From whence cometh the monster?  Is “cometh” odd or “whence”?

As in days of yore we transmogrified.  What were we after that old?

Does our argot include gazump?  Who talks of getting cheated like that?

Can you finnic in lapp?  Hey!  Don't be rude!

Wasternation is the method of getting rid of the unwanted peoples in a nation.

Consternation is the art of getting rid of all the convicts in a country.   (usually they were sent to some new unsettled island and used as slave labour)

Jack that rabbit.  What happens when you lose your VW.

Persipeculiarity of pennies. Why we blame everything on accountants.

Foxtrap versus von Trapp.  Its why there are few Red Tails in Vermont.

March through April into the merry month of May eye.

Why is an Allen Key a wrench and not a screwdriver? 

I didn’t say wench so Mr Key you can put down that slander suit.

Play Bridge but gamble at Poker.

Mark Hull

 

 

 

 

 

 

Easter Cross Coffee on the Bun

Coffee cannot run but I can hide.  You walk down the road and streets of any given or stolen city or town and the finest thing you can come across is that ole favourite, the Hot Cross Bun.  Not mad nor angry just cross.  Its a branding thing.  And to think the marketing guru’s have claimed that dictum as tier own.  Nope.  It has been around for ages!  Since raisins at least!

Truly encapsulated in the time tested testament De Temporum Ratione (On The Reckoning of Time), Eostre during this time is honoured according to the translator Bede, later called the month of Easter.  She was not irate either.

In aiding the totally useless guide to almost anything, (Wikipedia)  there are a host of hostings alternately flogged on the blogs.

A lesser favourite, or a less favoured site is

http://www.associatedcontent.com/

Not only is there a dribble of drivel, there are useful fascts, ( the uncommonly used word to describe “fast facts”).  Headline today, “How to save money on toothpaste.”  Hmm now that is something I can really get my teeth out of.   But as the scroll wheel rolls I discover valuable quotes. “No one can understand the truth until he drinks of coffee's frothy goodness. ~Sheik Abd-al-Kadir”  just what I needed early on Saturday morning, a totally incomprehensible plinth of words.

Has anyone had that Kurdish or Turkish or Arabian coffee?  Well once your lips heal, cuz’in they boil the crap out of it before they serve it immediately to you, and after you recover from the coughing fit leading from the dearth of dirt, or powdered coffee left in the bottom of the tiniest cup, and your blood preasure drops after the four tablespoons of sugar dissolved in a three tablespoon sized cup, you can savour the savour faire of possibly the worst coffee in the world.  Any this site quoted one of the citizenry.

On the up side Don is in town and the new bike is on the pavement.  A little rough in the running area, I think I need to clean up the points and look for an electronic conversion kit.  Black and chrome are the colours as they should be.

Short post today.

Mark Hull

 

Chinese Coffee and other Oxymora.

 

I know most of you don't think I am a believer in the ‘ole Global warming construct, but that doesn’t presuppose my understanding of the ecosystem in general.  That would be the operative point, in general.  Generally we have been experiencing measured higher carbon levels.  The law of physics notwithstanding, there is no energy or matter lost or created in the universe.

We are in the Uni’ right?  Well Java up guys, the Coffee Club is to the rescue.  No diss’in the Tea sippers but you won’t find this kinda data promoting the clear liquid.

And I quote:  (or just believe and skip to the bottom of the quote)

“How much carbon can coffee farms store?

Although measuring carbon storage is difficult due to the multiple variables involved (even plots in the same region with similar tree species composition can vary in their storage capacity depending on microclimate, soil types, etc.), recent research has revealed some encouraging facts. A few examples:

• In the tropics, potential carbon sequestration rates for smallholder, sustainable agro-forestry systems range from 1.5 to 3.5 megagrams (tonnes) per hectare per year, or 2.1 billion megagrams annually worldwide.
• It has been estimated that each hectare of sustainable agro-forestry in the tropics could potentially offset 5 to 20 ha of deforestation.
• Models have estimated a 5-year-old coffee farm shaded with two common Latin American tree species Mountain Immortelle and Laurel could sequester 5.3 megagrams per hectare.
• Soil carbon stocks in shade coffee were 60% of that expected in primary forest in Sumatra, versus 45% for sun coffee.
• In El Salvador, carbon sequestration values for various types of shade coffee management were estimated (in tons per ha per year): 174 for rustic shade to 77 for shade monoculture.
• A study of carbon stocks in Costa Rican coffee farms calculated aerial (above ground) carbon stocks ranging from 11 megagrams per ha for simple shade (one heavily pruned shade species) to nearly 32 for diverse shade.
• Using these figures, a farmer with 10 ha in diversified shade coffee could receive a one-time $3000 payment (based on previously carbon transactions for the country), as well as a reduction in expenses from chemical inputs and have timber and fruit for additional income. The payment is over three times greater than would be obtained for the carbon stocks in simple shade coffee systems. “

Whew!   

What are the worst words you have ever read?  And no I don't mean “Hello, I am.....”

Try these.

“Chinese tea is well known around the world. Chinese coffee is not. But that will soon change. China slowly has entered the growing of gourmet coffee and they have the perfect natural resources: high mountains, great soils, nice wet climate, plenty of cheap labour and the culture to dominate. They even made the Coffee agriculture report. This year's coffee report calls for major production improvement and output record levels for Chinese coffee producing regions. The Chinese output will so far exceed expected output that it will also cause the world's production to exceed expectant levels.”

I short, the ever present race the bottom of the lowest common enumerator which cant’ be counted as prime, the Chinese lead the sludge.  When will we understand, THEY DON'T CARE!   You think the large coffee chains will care when the .....ese come forth with cheap copies of the beloved cuppa Thomas’ Joe?  You think the corporate weenies will see through the fog of pollution in the slave coffee from that lower Asian country?  Barely.  In fact the program will go something like this. “We were forced to buy this product by the market. We have tested it to all similar standards.”  Then about 5 years later when the concentration of Lead in our bodies reaches critical levels their response will be, “We had no idea we were being duped.”

Just look where you buy it from!  Did I not reveal some weeks ago which country was the second largest producer of coffee bean in the world. Were you reading then?  Are you reading now?  Mark this day in your calendar.  I know I have.

I have tasted the worst and the best coffee and on the whole it comes down to a few things.   Good Beans.  Fine or extra fine grind.  Clean water. Clean instruments.   All the rest his hooey.   I have tried and tested machines of all sorts. Grinds of all specifications.  Every water from Glacial to tap.  That was a point that made me shudder.   It was  like when the doctor wanted to put a plaster and gauze cast on my foot.   I explained that Noah, the guy with the big boat, used that mixture.  Then I told the doctor, “Nothing that old is going on my body!”   Same with the Glacial water. 

Just remember, when the coffee says made in China, that should be your ultimate wake-up call if you are still dozing in the fog of consumerism and excess.

Mark Hull

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chinese Coffee and other Oxymora.

 

I know most of you don't think I am a believer in the ‘ole Global warming construct, but that doesn’t presuppose my understanding of the ecosystem in general.  That would be the operative point, in general.  Generally we have been experiencing measured higher carbon levels.  The law of physics notwithstanding, there is no energy or matter lost or created in the universe.

We are in the Uni’ right?  Well Java up guys, the Coffee Club is to the rescue.  No diss’in the Tea sippers but you won’t find this kinda data promoting the clear liquid.

And I quote:  (or just believe and skip to the bottom of the quote)

“How much carbon can coffee farms store?

Although measuring carbon storage is difficult due to the multiple variables involved (even plots in the same region with similar tree species composition can vary in their storage capacity depending on microclimate, soil types, etc.), recent research has revealed some encouraging facts. A few examples:

• In the tropics, potential carbon sequestration rates for smallholder, sustainable agro-forestry systems range from 1.5 to 3.5 megagrams (tonnes) per hectare per year, or 2.1 billion megagrams annually worldwide.
• It has been estimated that each hectare of sustainable agro-forestry in the tropics could potentially offset 5 to 20 ha of deforestation.
• Models have estimated a 5-year-old coffee farm shaded with two common Latin American tree species Mountain Immortelle and Laurel could sequester 5.3 megagrams per hectare.
• Soil carbon stocks in shade coffee were 60% of that expected in primary forest in Sumatra, versus 45% for sun coffee.
• In El Salvador, carbon sequestration values for various types of shade coffee management were estimated (in tons per ha per year): 174 for rustic shade to 77 for shade monoculture.
• A study of carbon stocks in Costa Rican coffee farms calculated aerial (above ground) carbon stocks ranging from 11 megagrams per ha for simple shade (one heavily pruned shade species) to nearly 32 for diverse shade.
• Using these figures, a farmer with 10 ha in diversified shade coffee could receive a one-time $3000 payment (based on previously carbon transactions for the country), as well as a reduction in expenses from chemical inputs and have timber and fruit for additional income. The payment is over three times greater than would be obtained for the carbon stocks in simple shade coffee systems. “

Whew!   

What are the worst words you have ever read?  And no I don't mean “Hello, I am.....”

Try these.

“Chinese tea is well known around the world. Chinese coffee is not. But that will soon change. China slowly has entered the growing of gourmet coffee and they have the perfect natural resources: high mountains, great soils, nice wet climate, plenty of cheap labour and the culture to dominate. They even made the Coffee agriculture report. This year's coffee report calls for major production improvement and output record levels for Chinese coffee producing regions. The Chinese output will so far exceed expected output that it will also cause the world's production to exceed expectant levels.”

I short, the ever present race the bottom of the lowest common enumerator which cant’ be counted as prime, the Chinese lead the sludge.  When will we understand, THEY DON'T CARE!   You think the large coffee chains will care when the .....ese come forth with cheap copies of the beloved cuppa Thomas’ Joe?  You think the corporate weenies will see through the fog of pollution in the slave coffee from that lower Asian country?  Barely.  In fact the program will go something like this. “We were forced to buy this product by the market. We have tested it to all similar standards.”  Then about 5 years later when the concentration of Lead in our bodies reaches critical levels their response will be, “We had no idea we were being duped.”

Just look where you buy it from!  Did I not reveal some weeks ago which country was the second largest producer of coffee bean in the world. Were you reading then?  Are you reading now?  Mark this day in your calendar.  I know I have.

I have tasted the worst and the best coffee and on the whole it comes down to a few things.   Good Beans.  Fine or extra fine grind.  Clean water. Clean instruments.   All the rest his hooey.   I have tried and tested machines of all sorts. Grinds of all specifications.  Every water from Glacial to tap.  That was a point that made me shudder.   It was  like when the doctor wanted to put a plaster and gauze cast on my foot.   I explained that Noah, the guy with the big boat, used that mixture.  Then I told the doctor, “Nothing that old is going on my body!”   Same with the Glacial water. 

Just remember, when the coffee says made in China, that should be your ultimate wake-up call if you are still dozing on the fog of consumerism and excess.

Mark Hull